This past year has been the most difficult in my life. After losing my brother to depression last April, sometimes I can barely even believe that I am living through all this. I still struggle with the grief, trauma and bouts of depression. There were days when I was tempted to doubt God, even leave Him. It was then that He held me close tighter than ever. As an online friend once said,”He doesn’t want to lose you.” God’s grace has always been there, protecting, guiding and strengthening me. I have also experienced God’s love, mercy and compassion more intimately, deeply and tenderly than ever before!
The break from law school has given me the chance to discern my vocation. I met religious sisters, consecrated virgins, volunteered to proof-read for St Pauls, volunteered at the Good Shepherd Sisters baby orphanage. I also took a few online classes on Spiritual Theology. I love my classes! Even more than law school? (Yikes!) More and more I do feel that God is calling me to a religious vocation of some sort. I am not yet sure what.
I do not know what the next year will bring. But after what I lived through in 2014, I know that God will always be there for me. Thank you to everyone old friends and new, in person and online, who have been there for me this past 2014! Thank you for manifesting God’s great love through you. May God Bless you and shower you with His love and mercy always! I leave you with this quote and and a beautiful song by Corrinne May.
The Cross by St Francis de Sales
The everlasting God has
in His wisdom foreseen
from eternity the cross
that He now presents to you
as a gift from His inmost heart.
This cross He now sends you
He has considered with His all-knowing eyes,
understood with His divine mind,
tested with His wise justice,
warmed with loving arms
and weighed with His own hands
to see that it be not one inch too large
and not one ounce too heavy for you.
He has blessed it with His holy Name,
anointed it with His consolation,
taken one last glance at you
and your courage,
and then sent it to you from heaven,
a special greeting from God to you,
an alms of the all-merciful love of God
The Answer by Corrinne May